Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
