honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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