speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
