Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
