I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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