It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize