if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
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They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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