Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
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If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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