I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
