Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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