Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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