i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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