We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
