ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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