Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
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Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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