Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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