I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize