omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
