I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize