JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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