Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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