Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize