no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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