I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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