oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize