Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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