is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Better not shit yourself at the gym.