My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right