I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.