I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.