scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?