youre lurking in front of me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?