Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery