would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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