She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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