Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she looked like the before picture.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
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He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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