Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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