summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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