I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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