no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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