guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol