Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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