Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
