I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
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I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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