going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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