Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later