I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
