You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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