he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.