Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
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its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.