apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?