You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.