Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?