After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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