I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
