then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize