I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize