She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
