The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today