omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas