just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
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just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
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Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?